Self Discovery … it starts with the Questions

I wrote two posts some time back [2011 & early 2012] on Self Discovery which sparked & continues to spark interest. Questions are at the heart of what I do as a Coach & more importantly should be at the heart of what You do/want to do as a person.

So, instead of banishing these posts to the archives, I have shown them the light of day once more. Please humour me and  have a read and share  if you feel the posting is worthy …….

“Around the age of 40, your perspective on Life often changes (or not for some). For some (good) reason our Thoughts turn to the 2nd half of our lives and how we can continue/start to enjoy or improve our lot…..it did for me at least.  I’d like to throw a few questions at you for your consideration, fascination, procrastination, motivation or what other “ation” grabs your fancy.Self Discovery

Can these questions (I’m sure there are more) get your minds percolating with fresh effervescent ideas? or at least, to take a good look at where you’re currently at & where you would like to be?……I hope so.

  • How do I really want to live the rest of my Life
  • What impact on myself, my significant others do I want to make in the next 10 years
  • What’s vitally important to me Now
  • What, if any changes do I need to make
  • What support will I need if I decide to make changes
  • who will be affected(by my changes)
  • Are my Belief systems valid, up to date or need renewal
  • What are my top 3 personal Values that I want to live my Life by
    • How can I improve my health & fitness
    • how much of my potential am I prepared to tap in to
    • am I happy
    • Is my Love strong enough
    • what Life Goals do I need to set
    • do my skills need upgrading
    • what new skills do I wish to learn
    • what are my passions
    • what am I prepared to do to achieve the Life of my dreams
    • what am I prepared to forego to achieve………
    • how can I share myself, my passions, my skills with others
      • How do I see myself, my self perception
      • what is my perception of the World….do I fit in or do I want to

And here are a few more questions from the second post that may get you thinking …..

  • Am I happy with the way things are now
    • Will my current ‘choices’ get me to where I want to be
  • Do I commit to taking action to achieve what I really want
  • Are my thoughts helping me
  • Am I aware of any limiting beliefs that will stand in my way
  • Do I make excuses
  • Do I consider myself a Victim of circumstance or do I take personal responsibility for my Life

When one takes full responsibility for their Life, any prior obstacles or distractions are now seen as opportunities, to expand one’s view of LifeQuestion2

  • Am I motivated to achieve what I want…..is the fire inside me well fueled
  • Do I appreciate myself
  • Do I need external motivation, a Coach or Mentor
  • What is my source of Inspiration…..do I have one (or many)
  • What three (3) important achievements will define this current year
  • Do my Values and Beliefs need reviewing…..are they still valid
  • Am I willing to raise the bar on my performance
  • Do I settle for less than I deserve
  • Is my ‘Big Picture’ complete or is it still a work in progress

This is an opportune time to complete your ‘picture’…..sketch it first if you have to and ‘paint’ it in later…..at least make a start.

  • Do I have support, people who I can rely on
  • Where do I want to be with my Life in 5 years
  • In 10 years time when I Iook back at my achievements, or lack of ‘action’, how will I feel
  • Is there anything stopping me from making progress on my Vision today
  • How will I feel, when my ” dream” comes alive

The Mid Life years are ones to be treasured. With the right thoughts, actions and dreams/visions you can “extend” your mid life beyond the generally accepted norms … no time to dwell on ‘old age’ thoughts when you are flourishing in your mid life years … let’s get to it!

Ref: https://personalpower4me.wordpress.com/2011/04/19/21-self-discovery-questions-to-enrich-your-mid-life-journey/

Ref: https://personalpower4me.wordpress.com/2012/01/16/21-more-self-discovery-questions-for-the-40s-enriching-your-mid-life-journey-in-2012/

Be good to yourself

David

The Mid Life Coach.

Helping You take the action that You need to take.

 In 2013 I will also be at my new site. So please join me for coffee, fresh writings, fresh thoughts and ideas at :

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Living Life Today – Are You living in the Shadows?

“The Living Life Today series provides a platform to think about your Life as it is Now, enjoy what you have, review and create an even better future for tomorrow….. Short, sharp & easily digestible.

So many people spend their lives with their talents hidden from view.

I call this “living in the shadows”. Talents hidden from view. A place of doubt, indecision & fear.

We are here to shine and by shining, we are helping others… as well as ourselves.

Our choices determine the lives we lead.

You are where you currently are ….by choice.  If you are currently ‘in the shadows’, you can choose to come out and live a life of brightness and vitality. You may need help to do this. Help is always close at hand, just ask.

Choose to live a Life where you can be seen and be heard. A life where you can share yourself with others and where you can grow.

A life where you can learn from others. A life where you can inspire, motivate and care…..and be inspired, motivated and cared about.

My friends, fellow Life Lovers…..Dream big, aim high, develop your Big Picture, embrace your Life, choose well… and shine.

Be good to yourselves

David

P.S New website and blog coming soon!

I help men & women aged 40 & over, make their goals, dreams & longer term Visions for their Life, come true. I want You to be excited about your Life.

and YES, I coach in Australia & around the world via Skype…Contact me Today for your FREE introductory coaching session.… david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

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5 Powerful ingredients that add “Meaning” to your Goals

In a much earlier post, I specified the 5 effective steps that I believed were essential in achieving meaningful goals.

Now I want to introduce you to what I believe are 5 powerful ingredients to add real meaning to your Goals.

Passion, Persistence,  Imagination, Vision, Gratitude

These are not new and will be well known to you all. I have joined them as one defining resource or collective if you will.

When used in this way, you will create an avenue toward real meaning with your Goals.

It is however my experience, one or more of these ingredients (in some cases all) are found lacking when people set out to achieve goals. Or set out to achieve anything more than what they have at present. It’s like going on a road trip with only half a tank of fuel and expecting it to get you the whole journey.

Let’s have a closer look.

Passion

Without this your goals will fizzle…out. Passion is a vital and common ingredient amongst all successful achievement and all successful people. It can be an overused term and it’s not my intent to do this here. I struggle to give a specific description of passion however my best effort is along the lines of “when you are doing something that excites you, makes you feel fully alive and gives you a tingling feeling, then you are passionate”…..and you can see this in the people who are truly passionate.

Persistence

It’s rarely a smooth trip when chasing your goals. There will be rough patches. Hanging in there when the going gets tough is a must. Looking for a gap thru the ‘roadblock’, a breakthrough of some kind requires persistence. If you are prepared to be persistent, regardless, then the end achievement (of your goal) is the more meritorious and meaningful.

 

Imagination

Thinking outside the box, outside the square is a valued trait. When setting goals especially Big ones that may seem ‘out of reach’, imagining the positive end result before you set out certainly stokes the fire, gets you excited…..and that’s pretty powerful meaning at work, right there. p.s I’ve written a number of posts on “Imagination”…some links are found at the foot of this post.

Vision

Having the ability to look ahead, to stretch the boundaries of what normally is expected and create something new and powerful is Vision at it’s best. This is where the meaningful goals are created. Vision and Imagination are like identical twins. They go hand in hand and have created so much in our world. Use them yourselves and create added meaning to your Life.

Gratitude

What’s this got to do with “meaning” you might be saying? Well, in my experience being grateful adds an extra dimension to the meaning of my existence, my Life. And during this Life, I have set and achieved many goals. There is still much that I want to achieve. Being grateful for “future achievements” when initially setting my goals adds punch and confidence during the goal achievement journey.

Can this be helpful to you? I’d love to hear your comments.

Be good to yourselves

David

# Some “Imagination” links for your reading pleasure:

The Imagination Series Episode 2

The Imagination Series Episode 4

The Imagination Series Episode 7

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Goals, Dreams, Longer term Visions…..why they are important

Recently I wrote a post to my Facebook page…”Goals and dreams are not just ‘something to have’…..they are something to act on…..how about we bring them to Life people!”

And I stand by that 100%…

Having a sense of purpose for our Lives propels us forward. Setting Goals with meaning adds value to us and keeps the juices flowing.

Whether they be short term, mid or long, Goals provide us with a roadmap to follow. You then need to take action and follow the roadmap.

Dreams are the fabric  which we can weave into what ever is our desire. Dreams are tantalising. They urge us to grow out of our present thoughts and explore possibilities that we would not ordinarily think are possible.

I see Dreams as a form of escapism. Sometimes burdened with boring, ”logical” thought and existence, Dreams act as a ‘pressure release valve’ as we escape to other thoughts.

Importantly, dreams/dreaming allow us to create.

Dreaming with intent steps it up a notch & adds real punch to your purpose & crystallises you into action…..and action ultimately, is the key.

Meaningful Goals and Dreams help form your longer term Vision for your Life…..at least that’s the way I see it (when done with the right degree of purpose). You may not notice it at first however they will interconnect…(you can’t have one without the other, in my opinion) and this is where the real action commences…..bringing all this to Life!

Depending on which stage of Life you’re currently at, a longer term Vision may not seem important…yet. Once you arrive @ your forties, looking beyond tomorrow takes on much more significance.

There will probably be pieces to the puzzle not yet in place. (In my previous post, I mentioned brushstrokes on your Big Picture)…I like to vary the metaphors. You will have aspirations, you will have a reason to put your Life into some sort of order “before time gets too quickly away”.

If you have been gradually building your longer term “Vision” through regular goal setting and dreaming, then adding the final touches should come quite easily. Though remember to keep action always at the ready.

If you haven’t been a goal setter or ‘dreamer’, I urge you to try it…..it’s never too late to start. You can only benefit by doing so.

As a Life Coach, I help men & women aged 40 & over bring their Goals/Dreams/Visions to Life. Can I help you?

Be good to yourselves

David

P.S If you need a Solution for anything that is holding you back in Life, ask me via email, for free!…david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

# Find out more about me by visiting my :

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Just saying it as it is….. Part 2

I enjoy ‘being in the moment’… which means being aware of my thoughts and feelings in that moment and enjoying to the max.

It is however a balancing act ‘being in the moment’ continuously and also having an eye on your future.

Imagining & Visioning how you want your Life to unfold & where you want your Life to be at a certain point ‘down the path’ is fine.

But be aware… Being ”in the moment” and being caught up in the moment are different.

Being in the moment embraces enjoyment, awareness of your thoughts and feelings as I mentioned earlier…..well, at least that’s my opinion.

Being caught up in the moment can be delightful and distracting at the same time. Delightful when you have enjoyed & know when to let go & move on. Distracting when you see nothing else but the moment that you are in……and time gets away.

If you imagine your Life to be this or that in say 10 years then what are you doing about it now?

Imagining is fine, I love it, however it is also essential to keep painting your bigger picture with constant brush strokes(thoughts and actions).  Otherwise in 10 years you will have an unfinished ‘masterpiece’, be rooted to the same spot & wonder where the time went…..and that would be a shame.

Keep painting.

Be good to yourselves

David

P.S If you need a Solution for anything that is holding you back in Life, ask me via email, for free!…david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

# Find out more about me by visiting my :

  • Fabulous “Virtual Coach” page here where ongoing support and life changing assistance is just a keystroke or two away. Why not sign up while you are there?
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The 5 Deadly Sins…..How to turn them around

There are things that you need to do and there are things that you should avoid. When speaking with my coaching clients and potential clients, there are 5 ‘problem areas’ that consistently occur and inevitably hold them back from achieving so much more (or indeed, achieving anything)…

Procrastination…..an absolute art form. Why do something when you can put it off “for a better time”…..enough said

Excuses….. there’s got to be some reason not to do this, right?

Lack of Belief…..well I have never done this before, so I guess I probably won’t be able to do this now

No Game Plan/Goals/Vision…..what?

No Direction…..I don’t know where I am actually going, we’ll just see what happens…ok?

You probably get the picture. There’s no time like NOW to repent your “sins” and get the train back on the tracks otherwise it will be ‘trainwreck’ time.

I’m not a great one for rules or regulations however there are certain ‘unwritten’ standards that are worth adhering to. Turn the 5 ‘sins’ above right around and you are very likely to start kicking some goals.

Don’t Procrastinate…..just ‘do’ or wipe it completely…you will feel better either way

No Excuses….. you might want to check this out…always be aware of the subtle ones

Start Believing…..in yourself. Start with some small victories, then build. If you don’t believe in yourself then it’s extremely hard for others to do so…it starts with you

Set some Goals…..as in above, set some small ones to get used to achievement then build…and add some ‘bite’ & ‘meaning’ to them. Create a Vision of how you see your Life in 10, 20 years and start aiming…this will build some purpose.

A sense of Direction…..certainly handy to have. Add some detours for fun but create a journey of excitement. No doubt unexpected detours will occur however they may open up further possibilities…enjoy & take some control of your Life.

Make sense?

Be good to yourselves

David

# If you need a Solution for anything that is holding you back, ask me via email, for free!…david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

# Find out more about me by visiting my :

  • Fabulous “Virtual Coach” page here where ongoing support and life changing assistance is just a keystroke or two away. Why not sign up while you are there?
  • Facebook page over there & “like” , if you like

When I close my eyes…….

Now for something a little different.

This is a “live” blog post, or nearly(I couldn’t type with my eyes closed). I am recording what I saw & heard, entirely unedited.

The story unfolded this morning…..

Sometimes when I close my eyes I just see a mish mash of images, voices and thoughts…….a random collection it seems.

However there are other times, like today when I set myself up for a positive visual tour of my mind. This was my experience this morning when I closed my eyes for two minutes…….

I saw and heard:

  • Waves crashing on the shore,
  • a shaft of sunsine glimmering on the ocean
  • a train arriving at the platform…..(what the?)
  • a crisp golf shot landing on the green at my local course followed by a shout from one of my playing partners…”you lucky bugger”
  • Children with their parents dancing in the park,
  • Friends shaking me by the hand, patting me on the back and saying “well done, I new you could do it”
  • Three elderly ladies chatting & laughing at the local shopping mall
  • Walking and talking with my wife and (younger) daughters on a walking trail in the Gold Coast Hinterland @ Springbrook
  • the riverfront and tree lined street @ Noosaville, Sunshine Coast
  • I was walking betwen tables and speaking to (my clients) in a group session on a large timber deck in the sunshine by a river
  • I am by the beach talking with four others about my 58th* birthday, the faces are not familiar

This “exercise” is not directly related to any specfic visualisation technique where one may attempt to visualise ‘things’ that they want or want to happen, which is powerful in it’s own right.

I wanted this exercise  to be an ‘open book’ examination of (positive) images & thoughts that have happened to me/will happen? and see how this would play out.

It is letting the mind meander with direction, in this case positive, picking up the vibe (of positive enjoyment)and creating a mental picture/video of the result…….maybe it’s unique to me?…..No, I think we can all do it.

Normally, I will close my eyes for a couple of minutes, 1-2 times per day which helps shut out any existing distractions around me. I will give thanks for the many positives in my Life and thanks in advance for the things that I want to happen. This commences my visualisation intent.

However, today I thought I would again experiment as I’ve outlined above. No particular focus other than on positive thoughts. My mind then played out a “movie” of particular positive/happy incidents that have occured(I’m sure) and others that I am guessing will be part of my future…..interesting. Can I predict my future? Am I seeing beyond the veil?…..I don’t know for sure……* I am still 56

However I do know that the mind is a powerful beast and there’s much about it that I still have to learn. I am now more of the belief  that I can train my mind to focus on the positive and remove the negative “at my command”…..and predict or project poitive images of my future?…..this is indeed good.

How about you?

Do you want more control over the selection of your thoughts? OR am I talking gibberish here?

be good to yourselves

David

# Check out my fabulous “Virtual Coach” page here where ongoing support and life changing assistance is just a keystroke or two away

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