What is it that Shapes Us?

Now there’s an interesting question.

Is it just one thing or is it several?

Do we have any influence on this or how much influence do we have?

Do external factors determine who we become? OR is it an “inside game”?

Is it something we read? OR

Is it something we hear?

Were we born with it? OR

Did we learn it as we grew?

Have we forgotten what it is? OR

Did we know  what it was in the first place?

What is “it” that shapes us?

Our journey through Life allows us to stop, shop or browse for whatever is available whether it be for sale or it be free. You can get off the bus, gather fresh information and then continue your journey. Or you can simply cruise on through(thru) catching glimpses of the sights as you drive by and ignore all the signs along the way.{ Sorry about the analogy, couldn’t help myself }

Collecting information will mean that you either attach to it or discard it. If it has an impact on you then you are likely to attach to it. It forms another piece to your puzzle (about Life).

We collect information all the way through Life. It comes from different sources. Friends, family, acquaintances, gurus, books, media,internet, seminars, experiences. They all have some impact on shaping our Life.

The amount of “impact” and the time that this stays with us varies from person to person. Strong family values & upbringing will no doubt stay with you throughout your Life (as an example).

It also depends on the experience that you felt/associated with this “impact”.

How do we determine a good influence from a poor one?

An excellent question I think e.g,…….. Does it feel right?

Does it add value to you/your Life?

Does it come unencumbered or with conditions?…..

I welcome you to add your thoughts on this.

The eventual acceptance or otherwise of the influences in our lives often come via trial & error. We will make mistakes with this. Some mistakes will be long lasting for many. Others will see the error in their ways & abandon poor influences. This abandonment also forms  part of the “shaping experience”……..letting go of the poor stuff.

To exercise choice in the way that our lives are shaped, is  to be treasured. There will be a lot of exernal factors which try to influence & shape us. Choosing the good ones is the challenge.

Having our internal mechanisms audited & in good working order will guide us through this minefield of influences.

This means that you know who you are and what you want.

That’s what it all comes down to eventually. You, me, we arriving at a destination (there’s that journey analogy again) where we know what is  good for us & what is not, hanging on to the value & letting go of cheap alternatives……. Enjoy your journey.

What is currently/or has shaped you?

be good to yourselves


p.s Feel free to view & “like” my Facebook page over there, if you like

check out my new Virtual Coach page here

I also hang out @ www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au


18 thoughts on “What is it that Shapes Us?

    • G’day Nancy,
      Thank you for calling in & for the compliment. “Living in your truth” is important, I’m glad you pointed that out. Life offers us much, it’s there for the taking.
      be good to yourself

  1. well said, David. There is much wisdom here. right now I am struggling with doing what I ‘want’ as opposed to doing what is ‘sensible’. Not an easy one.
    walk in beauty.

    • Hi Joss & thank you.
      Are you saying that what you want is not sensible? If it is what you want, then look at the obstacles/limiting beliefs that are holding you back. It may not be easy however do you want regrets?
      be good to yourself

      • heh heh. How did I know you’d say that. It’s more like the sensible thing to do is not really the thing I most want. Having said that, these last few days, I’m slowly figuring it out because, you are so right, I don’t want regrets. ever.
        thank you for making me think, as always.
        walk in beauty.

  2. I believe that what shapes most people is their experiences, and sometimes in the things that they have learned that they will never forget! The things that we learn that brings value is what shapes us in our lives! Thanks for posting David

    • Hi Tyler,
      Thank you for commenting. Yes, ‘experiences’ both good & bad have an effect on us. The ones thar add value are worth keeping, great point.
      be good to yourself
      Hope to see you again

  3. David,

    There are so many facets to the “it” which shapes us. Our beliefs, choices, conscious and other than conscious responses, experiences, environment, expectations, our cultures and heritage. I’m certain there are others I’m missing entirely.

    Ultimately anything can shape us without care and monitoring of our own internal mechanisms. It’s so easy to want to and to abdicate that responsibility.

    • Thank you LaShae,
      A lot can get through our defences if we let it or if we know what we should defend. When we know what is ‘good’, screening out the poor influences is a little easier.
      be good to yourself

    • That’s a pleasure Alex,
      I like to make people think about themselves & their world. It helps me grow at the same time & it’s great to receive thoughtful feedback like yours. Thankyou.
      be good to yourself

  4. Interesting question.

    I truly believe the OR can be replaced by a AND … We are shaped by both the external and the internal world. I also believe there is a sequence in it:

    In the first phase when we are born, we are completely dependent on the external world and we start building our internal world.
    In the second phase when we are adult, we have already an internal world which we can use.

    From there on, we can explore both: we can keep building up from the external world or building up from the internal world.

    I prefer the combination of the two.

    Thanks for bringing up the idea!

  5. Hi David
    This is a really interesting post. The comments are also insightful too.
    Personally, I believe that our lives are shaped by:
    1. our mothers – on whom we were so dependant as babies. They created the foundations in our lives. It is from them that we received our sense of being – or not if our mothers couldn’t nurture us properly – whether intentionally or unintentionally
    2. our fathers – whose job it was to place the scaffolding around the “building” that we were becoming. It, ideally, is their job to allow us to explore, challenge, create, take risks within the safety of their scaffolding. How we react today may depend on whether our fathers were there for us and pointed us into the world correctly.
    3. Other influencial figures such as grandparents, teachers, youth leaders etc. who would have shown us more of the world from their eyes.
    4. Our peers and siblings – how they treated us, and how we saw them being treated, will have shaped how we intereact with others.

    Wow. A bit wordy perhaps but I think you get the general. Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to comment.


    • G’day Kate,
      It’s a pleasure to receive such a “wordy” commentary. I appreciate you taking the time to do so. Iam glad this post has allowed some thought to percolate out there & resulted in thoughtful commentary. Glad you stopped by. ’till next time we meet, hopefully soon,
      be good to yourself

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s