Living Life Today – 8 Tips to beat the Midlife blues

“The Living Life Today series provides a platform to think about your Life as it is Now, enjoy what you have, review and create an even better future for tomorrow“….. Short, sharp & easily digestible.

Well … you’ve heard about it, now you are living it. Midlife crisis here we are.

I’ve been there. However I discovered that living my Mid Life is a journey of exploration, learning (what, more?) and excitement (oh, Yes!)

It all comes down to Attitude. You have one Life to live (in this body) so why not live it the best way possible?

8 Midlife blues busters:

• Be excited … even when you are not …Find something to be excited about, it’s there
• Learn something new each day (you’ve heard this a million times but it’s true)
• Introduce something different to your routine each day … or at least each week …. mix it up a bit
• Be a legal lunatic … you may go crazy if you are not … in other words enjoy being different, in fact strive to be different, break out … don’t fall into the ‘sameness’ trap
• Love … Life, partners, nature, family, yourself … this is a deal breaker
• Look forward to and imagine better days ahead … dream it up Big!
• Be thankful that you are alive … because you are dead a long time. (that may shake you up a little) … and hopefully it does.
• Laugh at most everything that happens to you

Be good to yourselves

David

Life Coach. Listener. Life Lover.

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How to use “Doubt” to your advantage

Doubt has entered my life recently. This is an uncomfortable feeling. Uncomfortable for two reasons…the first one being that I am usually confident in what do. Secondly, it has me second guessing my every thought and action.

Now I am not saying that I’ve never been doubtful before, far from it. This is deeper though. This has the power to strip back my confidence shield.

How do I recover from this?

Firstly, I have acknowledged the presence of doubt. In acknowledging this, I now become aware of this feeling. I must now set out to confront my doubt and turn this around.

The cause…I have been working on some new projects the past few weeks. Things have often not gone to plan and are behind schedule. “Is it meant to be?” I have started to ask. “Doubt” has crept in. Now that seems simple, even innocent enough. It happens to all of us…it’s happened to me often, during my Life.

This time seems different. I sense that it’s a time to re assess. A time for some Self Renewal. A time to re align my Purpose.

In fact, I see many positives coming out of this. Indeed some have come to fruition already. When you doubt yourself it can be coming from lack of confidence, procrastination or a valid reason that the direction I am taking is not the right one for me at THIS moment.

I am now looking at my current situation from a fresh angle. My belief is as strong as ever. My belief in myself is in the knowing that I am able to see ‘the warning signs’ and then make necessary adjustments. The path is not always straight. My Big Picture is still vivid however the steps I am taking toward this have included, some side steps. This is OK.

So when you find that you are doubting yourself (rather than doubting a particular situation), confront it. It’s a message. A message that you need to take notice of if you want to move forward, free from the constraints of ‘doubt’..

It is a time for re assessment. A time for renewal. Finding out the reasons for your self doubt is liberating. It may be difficult to pinpoint this yourself. If so, seek assistance, because having ‘doubt’ as a companion makes the path so much harder to travel.

Be good to yourselves

David

# I help men & women aged 40 & over, make their goals, dreams & longer term Visions for their Life, come true. I want You to be excited about your Life.

and YES, I coach in Australia & around the world via Skype…Contact me Today for your FREE introductory coaching session.… david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

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What are your Theories on Life? Here’s One …but it’s gone up in a puff of smoke

There are numerous theories  recorded throughout history. We learned about many of them during our schooling.

Then we have our own theories about this and that. Many of these relate to how we navigate our way through Life..….and then there are conspiracy theories…..well, we’ll leave that one alone.

With our own lives, we gather information from varying sources e.g, our parents, our peers, self help books, media, friends and our daily observations. We then tend to “theorise” how things work you know…….. life in general, the Universe, right & wrong, how to become successful & wealthy etc,

A friend of mine, Trevor used to have a great theory. If he worked hard, got noticed by the Boss, worked overtime, didn’t take most of his holidays then he would be promoted.  His employers would look after him. “They like people who put in that extra effort” said Trevor.

He reasoned(theorised) that he would also get numerous pay rises due to his

extra diligence, be able to look after his loving wife and children and retire with a nice sum of money………good theory.

For a few years, things were going quite well for Trevor at work, his “theory” was working…….at home it was becoming different. Family life suffered because of Trevor’s “extra diligence” at work, they rarely saw him,……..theory now looking a little shaky.

A few months later, ‘the deal breaker’, Trevor was retrenched…….theory now shot to pieces – BANG.

Trevor now theorises “that life sucks”.

From Trevor’s perspective, life is looking perilous on two fronts 1. lack of employment therefore lack of promotion therefore lack of pay (rise)…….retiring with a nice sum of money looks unlikely.

2. Trevor needs to patch up his family life

What would you do in Trevor’s situation?…. Continue to lament that “life sucks”? OR create a new “theory”?……a paradigm shift if you will.

You see, Trevor relied largely on his main theory outlined in this post. So when it went ‘Bang’………..he was lost, he had no back up plan… “Life sucked”.

I guess we can over theorise on Life. Keeping it simple & varied has it’s benefits. Balancing work with family, terribly important.

We get a few ‘bumps’ or ‘bangs’ in our Lives that  should cause us to think about our “theories” on Life. Take a look at your Life from a different angle, a fresh perspective. Because it can be “over” in a flash.

What really matters.? It’s an individual thing however it’s worth considering very carefully. You only have one shot at this Life so why not make it a great one.

Can you relate to Trevor’s story? Does life “suck” for you… or have you turned it around?

be good to yourselves

David

# I help men & women aged 40 & over, make their goals, dreams & longer term Visions for their Life, come true. I want You to be excited about your Life. 

and YES, I coach in Australia & around the world via Skype…Contact me Today for your FREE introductory coaching session… david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

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Life begins after 40…before that it is only practise

woodcraft: monkey conductor (Photo credit: Kazutaka NAKANO)

Well…..what do you think about that?

Can it be true that we need to wait until we reach 40 years of age, before we start living …..fully?

Are the previous years just practise?

From my perspective (being over 40, over 50 actually), my first 40 years were very much a ‘practise run’…..

I learned, made mistakes, lost myself, tried to work out what I really wanted to do, had fun.

Since turning 40…..I’ve learned, made mistakes, lost myself, tried to work out what I really wanted to do, had fun.

So, what’s the difference?

Well

• I’ve learned more, much more
• I’ve made many more mistakes
• I actually (eventually) worked out what I really wanted to do
• I keep having Fun (because that’s what we are supposed to do)

“So what”, you might be saying. The key difference for me, has been that I have been prepared to learn more & make more mistakes. In earlier years, “I knew too much”, my learning curve tailed off… and I saw ‘mistakes’ as just that.

Now I am aware that ‘learning’ never ceases & that ‘mistakes’ are just another way to learn.

My experiences may be similar to some however we do have our own unique Lives. Working out what you want to do with your Life comes early (and easily) to some. I thought that I had it worked out but circumstances changed for me. Others will continue on their path right thru their lives from an early age.

I had a nagging ‘voice’ inside my head and a “pull” to go in other directions. I won’t bore you with the detail however I did find my true calling. In fact, it had been there all along, only hidden from my immediate view.

It gradually revealed itself at the right time…it just took awhile…and it may for you as well…don’t be disheartened, Life can be mysterious. Which brings me back to the “Life begins @ 40″ thing. I mentioned being aware. This took me many years to fully grasp.

And this is the reason why I found “my calling”. Awareness started opening doors. I didn’t have the keys before.

So much happens to us pre 40 that it’s often difficult to have it all soak in…it just happens, whether we know it or not. That was me. Not any more, it’s soaking in now.

Life takes time to Live. We are like maturing wine, getting better as the years roll by. Sure, our earlier years are fantastic. A great experience. We practise lots of stuff. Sometimes we get it right, sometimes we don’t. But that’s OK.

It’s what you do with the “rights” and the “wrongs” that will define you…..it just takes time.

be good to yourselves

David

* Bonus Reads from Zeenat Merchant-Syal   and   Elle Sommer…please take the time to look

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Related articles

• You can Design your very own Mid Life years…You have the Power (personalpower4me.wordpress.com)

Does your Life need Renewing? Trade in your Old Life Today with these 3 quick Tips

Are you running around like a “headless chook”?

Your mind is racing, you are darting in different directions, seemingly all at the same time – Life is a blur……

OR are you sitting in the corner with a puzzled look on your face?… not knowing what to do or where to turn.

No direction, no motivation, no goals…..no answers

Gratitude Journal (Photo credit: limevelyn)

Whether you are darting in different directions or have no direction at all, you need to get your head in to a better space.

Pause & Reflect… One do-able action that can get you started is to spend just 5 minutes alone. Alone with your thoughts. Think about where you are currently at with your Life and where you want to be in the future. Be that tomorrow, next week, next month, next year or years down the track.

Start with just 5 minutes. Concentrate on now. Then gradually step it up to 10 or 15 minutes…no need for any more.

 You will need however, to build upon this in due time.  Look within & start to look ahead once you have the “now” sorted. Seek Motivation, seek inspiration. Do you want a better deal out of life? …….just start thinking differently.

Gratitude, is my main motivator when I feel stale, uninspired and stuck in a RUT.

Gratitude for the things that I have, the people that I love and for the great things that have occurred in my Life. Thinking thoughts of gratitude can only produce positive actions for you, it does for me. The good news is…….it’s easy to do! ….just make the time to be grateful.Start a journal or revisit the one that you had (and have left neglected)

Amazing things start to happen when different thoughts & gratitude are allowed in. Better thoughts begin to manifest. ‘Breakthrough moments’ occur. Perceptions change, even “the busyness” seems calmer. Positive results occur. You have better control of your actions, you have the time to do things effectively.

Photo credit Andrew Tallon
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/gallery-e6frg6n6-1226433735647?page=9

Get Excited and take Action… there’s plenty to be excited about. Simply open your eyes, ears and most importantly…your Heart.

I always find a trigger point to get me into excitement mode. It could be anything however it always starts with a thought & I see the key to excitement is “thinking excitement”, with the emphasis on the “thinking” part. It’s easy to do once you get the hang of it.

When you are in ‘thinking mode’, nice & relaxed you will be amazed at what ‘comes to you’. Write down the best thoughts and then make a note to action them. It is of little use to have the power of thought without follow up action.

Taking that action will make all the difference between your “old life” and your “new Life”.

So, are these tips worthwhile for you? Are you caught in one of Life’s ruts? I’d love you to share your comments below.

Be good to yourselves

David

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A new (Mid Life) day dawns

A somewhat poetic piece is offered for critique by the blogging Universe this day. This post is a little contrary to my usual however a “change of pace” is warranted at times.

I guess I was carried away by my feelings and felt it necessary “to let it out”…..

Humour me if you will and/or ‘picture’ yourself and your feelings as a new day dawns for you. As I journey thru my Mid Life years, each day that dawns has added significance for me. I hope that it does for you too, regardless of which stage of Life that you are currently enjoying.

“The sun is shining and the landscape is coming alive before my very eyes.

My senses are stimulated as every fibre of my body reacts to the life around me.

As I breathe in this wonder, my thoughts turn to the joy of the moment and gratitude wells within me. How can negativity exist when so many positives surround me?

Slow down from the rapid pace of life, dwell and absorb the moment

Let time stand still and focus on the quiet inside of you and the serenity that surrounds you.

Then re-awaken & be grateful that you can enjoy this moment and those to follow

You can feel truly alive and your fears, your worries, your missgivings are merely apparitions.”

Be good to yourselves

David

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Rest, Renewal, Reflection…it’s time

It’s Monday morn here in Aussie land as I pen this down. This morning I had a long, long, long overdue sleep in. The ‘sleep in’ wasn’t all that long however my body was telling me that rest was long overdue.

I have no “appointments” in my diary today. I had another blog post scheduled however felt the timing for this, was just right.

Today, I am going to renew myself and spend time on reflecting and imagining…..and it’s a beautiful sunny day to boot!

Tomorrow, I will be firing on all cylinders again.

Being aware that your body needs to rest is key.

Burnout, stress or other ailments can surface if we do not allow ourselves “time out” on occasion. And it doesn’t have to be a big time out. Just enough to rejuvenate yourself.

However if you ignore ‘the signs’ and don’t rest, then recovery will take a lot longer.

Periodic rest breaks will ensure your longevity in the Game of Life.

That’s enough…..I’m off to rest & renew plus I am going to add a decent spot of Imagining just for good measure.

Be good to yourselves

David

P.S If you need a Solution for anything that is holding you back, ask me via email, for free!…david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

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A Rainbow of Opportunity…..a lesson for all of us?

Image via Wikipedia

My last post was unusually sombre however positive in it’s viewpoint. Today, normal service is resumed.

I was watching our pet lorikeets having a bath and marvelled at the sunkissed water droplets darting from them at all angles and the glistening rainbow coloured feathers.

This had an immediate ‘brightening effect’ on me(subsequently this post).

Brightness for me is cleansing. Gone are the greys, blacks and general sombreness. My mood instantly changes (gets even brighter)…..mind you, I was in a good mood today already after making some decisions that I had to make…..that’s all behind me now.

But back to the Rainbow. When your day is feeling dark, try looking for “your rainbow”. I see the Rainbow as part of our renewal stage….. shedding the old and bringing in the new. In my case, a tough situation being dealt with now becoming a fresh start & time to move forward.

Your “rainbow” will come in varying forms so the trick is to be aware of the possibility, in fact the inevitable probability, that a brighter moment/day is ‘just around the corner’, sparked by a rainbow of opportunity.

Keep smiling, Imagine the best and stride with Purpose.

Be good to yourselves

David

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When I close my eyes…….

Now for something a little different.

This is a “live” blog post, or nearly(I couldn’t type with my eyes closed). I am recording what I saw & heard, entirely unedited.

The story unfolded this morning…..

Sometimes when I close my eyes I just see a mish mash of images, voices and thoughts…….a random collection it seems.

However there are other times, like today when I set myself up for a positive visual tour of my mind. This was my experience this morning when I closed my eyes for two minutes…….

I saw and heard:

• Waves crashing on the shore,

• a shaft of sunsine glimmering on the ocean

• a train arriving at the platform…..(what the?)

• a crisp golf shot landing on the green at my local course followed by a shout from one of my playing partners…”you lucky bugger”

• Children with their parents dancing in the park,

• Friends shaking me by the hand, patting me on the back and saying “well done, I new you could do it”

• Three elderly ladies chatting & laughing at the local shopping mall

• Walking and talking with my wife and (younger) daughters on a walking trail in the Gold Coast Hinterland @ Springbrook

• the riverfront and tree lined street @ Noosaville, Sunshine Coast

• I was walking betwen tables and speaking to (my clients) in a group session on a large timber deck in the sunshine by a river

• I am by the beach talking with four others about my 58th* birthday, the faces are not familiar

This “exercise” is not directly related to any specfic visualisation technique where one may attempt to visualise ‘things’ that they want or want to happen, which is powerful in it’s own right.

I wanted this exercise  to be an ‘open book’ examination of (positive) images & thoughts that have happened to me/will happen? and see how this would play out.

It is letting the mind meander with direction, in this case positive, picking up the vibe (of positive enjoyment)and creating a mental picture/video of the result…….maybe it’s unique to me?…..No, I think we can all do it.

Normally, I will close my eyes for a couple of minutes, 1-2 times per day which helps shut out any existing distractions around me. I will give thanks for the many positives in my Life and thanks in advance for the things that I want to happen. This commences my visualisation intent.

However, today I thought I would again experiment as I’ve outlined above. No particular focus other than on positive thoughts. My mind then played out a “movie” of particular positive/happy incidents that have occured(I’m sure) and others that I am guessing will be part of my future…..interesting. Can I predict my future? Am I seeing beyond the veil?…..I don’t know for sure……* I am still 56

However I do know that the mind is a powerful beast and there’s much about it that I still have to learn. I am now more of the belief  that I can train my mind to focus on the positive and remove the negative “at my command”…..and predict or project poitive images of my future?…..this is indeed good.

How about you?

Do you want more control over the selection of your thoughts? OR am I talking gibberish here?

be good to yourselves

David

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The Imagination series (episode 2)

Image via Wikipedia

Hi fellow Life Lovers,

This is the 2nd instalment in my series of short, thought provoking, imagination themed blog posts. Hope you enjoy…..

Imagination dwells inside each of us. Ever waiting to be released from it’s dormancy, often in a burst of mind numbing spontaneity.

Shed light on your imagination, often.

A major key to effect vivid imagining is to -  “Imagine when.…. not imagine “if“

Imagining “when” something happens is embracing what I call, the “substance” of imagination. It is bringing your imagined (previously locked up, never to be released) thoughts into the open where they can blossom into your reality.

“To imagine just once, kindles the glow……to imagine often, lights up the entire world.”

Why not give that some thought (or imagination) and see if it lights up your world.

be good to yourselves

David

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