Mid Lifer’s Lament…7 questions to turn this around

You are entering your Mid Life years and begin to wonder where your Life has gone. You may have many regrets. More importantly, you are having difficulty seeing a way forward. You have vague dreams of a future that should be better than what you have now.

“How do I start to get my Life in better shape?”

Try these questions and see if they will give you a framework on which to build a Life to be proud of…… Be honest, take the time to absorb each question before moving on to the next.

Am I prepared to do what it takes?…..Well, are you? To move forward, changes will need to be made.

Will doing this now make the difference?…..The short answer is “yes”. One more day of regret is one day too much. There may be too much to lose by procrastinating over any change that you need to make. If you are unsure of the change needed, contact someone who can help you.

Do I Love my Life?…..Remember when life was fun? You may need to fall in love with your Life all over again. Do this and the sparks will begin to fly… new, exciting thoughts and actions will follow.

What will happen if I do nothing?…..more lamenting no doubt. Is this what you really want? Doing nothing means things stay the way that they currently are.

How can I make this better?…..by changing what you are doing currently. If your future seems cloudy, change is essential in order to make it clearer. Again, seek help if you can’t find the answers yourself. It’s often difficult doing this on your own.

What will my children think?…..Indeed. Setting a better example will be rewarding in time. Get passionate about your Life and the rewards will be unimaginable.

Can I still be successful?…..Absolutely you can. You are entering a golden period of Life. Many successful people didn’t get started until their forties…you can too.

Are these questions helpful? What other questions do you feel would assist?

Feel free to share your thoughts.

Be good to yourselves

David

Life Coach. Listener. Life Lover.

# In 2013 I will also be at my new site. So please join me for coffee, fresh writings, fresh thoughts and ideas at : www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au/blog

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“What if”…..the biggest question of them all

This is a great question. However it can be a two edged sword. When used as a rut busting question, this question can open up new thought processes.

When used as a statement of fact, it can reinforce the rut that you are already in.

What do You choose?…..

Here are just a few examples. Will these move you forward or leave you as you are?

What if… I knew all the answers

What if… I could make decisions that would always be right

What if… I had enough money to buy what I wanted

What if… I was fit and healthy

What if… My Life was better

What if… all my dreams would come true

What if… I was Loved more

What if… I had more time

What if… I was famous

What if… I could imagine myself as a success

What if… I had goals for my Life

What if… I was motivated and inspired

What if… I didn’t have to do all this other “stuff”

What if… I could escape from all of this

Will you choose “What if” to open up new opportunities… Now, this moment?

Be good to yourselves

David

Life Coach. Listener. Life Lover.

# In 2013 I will also be at my new site. So please join me for coffee, fresh writings, fresh thoughts and ideas at : www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au/blog

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Related articles

• 3 reasons to get your day kickstarted the right way (personalpower4me.wordpress.com)
• How to use “Doubt” to your advantage (personalpower4me.wordpress.com)

How to use “Doubt” to your advantage

Doubt has entered my life recently. This is an uncomfortable feeling. Uncomfortable for two reasons…the first one being that I am usually confident in what do. Secondly, it has me second guessing my every thought and action.

Now I am not saying that I’ve never been doubtful before, far from it. This is deeper though. This has the power to strip back my confidence shield.

How do I recover from this?

Firstly, I have acknowledged the presence of doubt. In acknowledging this, I now become aware of this feeling. I must now set out to confront my doubt and turn this around.

The cause…I have been working on some new projects the past few weeks. Things have often not gone to plan and are behind schedule. “Is it meant to be?” I have started to ask. “Doubt” has crept in. Now that seems simple, even innocent enough. It happens to all of us…it’s happened to me often, during my Life.

This time seems different. I sense that it’s a time to re assess. A time for some Self Renewal. A time to re align my Purpose.

In fact, I see many positives coming out of this. Indeed some have come to fruition already. When you doubt yourself it can be coming from lack of confidence, procrastination or a valid reason that the direction I am taking is not the right one for me at THIS moment.

I am now looking at my current situation from a fresh angle. My belief is as strong as ever. My belief in myself is in the knowing that I am able to see ‘the warning signs’ and then make necessary adjustments. The path is not always straight. My Big Picture is still vivid however the steps I am taking toward this have included, some side steps. This is OK.

So when you find that you are doubting yourself (rather than doubting a particular situation), confront it. It’s a message. A message that you need to take notice of if you want to move forward, free from the constraints of ‘doubt’..

It is a time for re assessment. A time for renewal. Finding out the reasons for your self doubt is liberating. It may be difficult to pinpoint this yourself. If so, seek assistance, because having ‘doubt’ as a companion makes the path so much harder to travel.

Be good to yourselves

David

# I help men & women aged 40 & over, make their goals, dreams & longer term Visions for their Life, come true. I want You to be excited about your Life.

and YES, I coach in Australia & around the world via Skype…Contact me Today for your FREE introductory coaching session.… david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

#  I welcome you to Visit and “like” my Facebook page for terrific insights into Life issues that affect You

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Anger and Frustration – part of our natural state? One “Big” way to use it to your advantage

I’ve had some frustrating times recently. And some anger has bubbled up to the surface.

I am not usually in this state or at least have not been for some considerable time.

So not only was I frustrated, at the same time I was rather confused.

What do I do with this anger/frustration? I have pondered this for a couple of days now.

I know the ‘triggers’ for this however they are not normally things that would get to me. Perhaps I am expecting too much of others or of myself? This is something that I will have to work out for myself.

I have come to the conclusion that being angry and/or frustrated is natural. No big surprise there. However trying to suppress this or divert this can lead to increased anger/frustration.

Letting it ‘run it’s course’, letting things cool is I believe, a better way to go. I think venting some steam has its benefits. Clears out the system. Pent up anger or frustration may have catastrophic results, so best to let a bit out to avoid any disasters.

Being frustrated at something/someone is not bad either. If you have values or yardsticks that you want to uphold and you find that someone is coming up short…be frustrated…at least for a little while.

And here is a key. “A little while”. I have just said that being angry and/or frustrated is OK, in fact somewhat “healthy”, however there is a limit.

How have I turned this around?

Any ongoing anger/frustration will become unhealthy in my view. Let off some steam, privately. Source the anger… and then source a healthy alternative to this anger/frustration.

In my case, I replaced my frustration with a ‘bigger picture’. Previously, I was isolating & focusing on the small distractions and therefore making them big distractions.

This lead to increased frustration & flowed onto anger. Reframing this into the bigger scheme of things…..that is, what really matters to me on a larger scale …..watered down the frustration. I saw it for what it was…a minor irritation NOT a major drama.

The bigger picture of my Life has enjoyment, dreams and Big goals beckoning me to achieve. Playing this game of Life won’t be halted by a “scratch on the kneecap”. You put up with the minor irritations. In fact, you hardly notice them at all when your end game is so compelling.

How do you overcome your angry or frustrating times? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Be good to yourselves

David

P.S New website and blog coming soon!

# I help men & women aged 40 & over, make their goals, dreams & longer term Visions for their Life, come true. I want You to be excited about your Life.

and YES, I coach in Australia & around the world via Skype…Contact me Today for your FREE introductory coaching session.… david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

#  I welcome you to Visit and “like” my Facebook page for terrific insights into Life issues that affect You

• Try a Free Coaching session or high value, low cost Virtual Coaching package…simply click on the appropriate apps on my Facebook page or you can email me …david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

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Related articles

• Why clearing your clutter will save your Life (personalpower4me.wordpress.com)
• Photo credit http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/galleries/gallery-e6frg8zf-1226517485388?page=3

Living Life Today – Are You living in the Shadows?

Shadows in the late afternoon. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“The Living Life Today series provides a platform to think about your Life as it is Now, enjoy what you have, review and create an even better future for tomorrow“….. Short, sharp & easily digestible.

So many people spend their lives with their talents hidden from view.

I call this “living in the shadows”. Talents hidden from view. A place of doubt, indecision & fear.

We are here to shine and by shining, we are helping others… as well as ourselves.

Our choices determine the lives we lead.

You are where you currently are ….by choice.  If you are currently ‘in the shadows’, you can choose to come out and live a life of brightness and vitality. You may need help to do this. Help is always close at hand, just ask.

Choose to live a Life where you can be seen and be heard. A life where you can share yourself with others and where you can grow.

A life where you can learn from others. A life where you can inspire, motivate and care…..and be inspired, motivated and cared about.

My friends, fellow Life Lovers…..Dream big, aim high, develop your Big Picture, embrace your Life, choose well… and shine.

Be good to yourselves

David

P.S New website and blog coming soon!

# I help men & women aged 40 & over, make their goals, dreams & longer term Visions for their Life, come true. I want You to be excited about your Life.

and YES, I coach in Australia & around the world via Skype…Contact me Today for your FREE introductory coaching session.… david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

#  I welcome you to Visit and “like” my Facebook page for terrific insights into Life issues that affect You

• Try a Free Coaching session or high value, low cost Virtual Coaching package…simply click on the appropriate apps on my Facebook page or you can email me …david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

Please join me also at:

•   www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au    AND

• I’d love you to follow me on Twitter

Why clearing your clutter will save your Life

What types of things do you tolerate in your life?

Are they excuses, disappointments, frustrations, put downs, same old same old, anger, doubt, negative people, lack of…..?

It doesn’t have to be this way!

We all experience these at various points in our Life. However there is no reason to tolerate them and accept them as ‘normal’. Do so and they will become an immovable part of your Life, just like a long term squatter…..and that is bad.

When you let this type of clutter invade and be a large part of your Life, then your Life no longer becomes yours.

You become a victim of external circumstances which will take control over your Life.

Are these ‘missing’ in your day to day living?…Fun, surprise, joy, success, spontaneity, achievement, excitement, money, love, friendship, positivity, imagination, goals.

Clear the clutter of disappointment, excuses, frustration, negativity and the like… it’s time for a fresh start! And introduce the ‘missing’ activities to your daily living.

You only have one life to live and from today you are your No.1 priority. Because if you are not “in tune”, then the people nearest and dearest to you can not prosper either.

Your health and wellbeing are paramount.

When you are ‘cluttered’, you are in effect…damaged goods.

By ‘clearing the clutter’ I am talking about mental and physical – get rid of the physical things around you that no longer serve any worthwhile purpose. Clear your desk, your home, garage, yard. Set a clean slate and start afresh.

Take time to clear your mind of unwanted/ negative thoughts that are holding you back/ stopping you from being the person the great creator intended. Let go of the toxic people in your Life. Short term ‘friends’ can become life long enemies to your personal wellbeing.

I suggest that you let go of what you have been unnecessarily putting up & keeping in your Life. Aim for a fresh start now – renew, revitalise, re-ignite….. and you can then start living the life you deserve instead of having your Life suffocated by others and “stuff” that serves no value to you.

Be good to yourselves

David

# In 2013 I will also be at my new site. So please join me for coffee, fresh writings, fresh thoughts and ideas at : www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

#  I welcome you to Visit and “like” my Facebook page for terrific insights into Life issues that affect You

• Try a Free Coaching session or high value, low cost Virtual Coaching package…simply click on the appropriate apps on my Facebook page or you can email me …david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

• I’d love you to follow me on Twitter

How to achieve goals worth achieving…..the 4 vital ingredients

Setting goals is one thing, achieving them something different altogether.

And achieving the ones that count…..well that’s at another level again.

We have many goals of varying sizes that we set out to achieve/accomplish during our Life. Upon reflection and being realistic, many of these are “tasks” rather than goals.

Goals are more dynamic than tasks. Goals require deliberate effort. Real goals have real meaning.

Now that’s out of the way, how do we achieve the goals that are worth achieving?

I suggest to start with, you break down the many activities, ideas, actions that are going on in your life. Break them down to a “must do” list and a “can do when I have the time list”.

The must do’s will be the ones that get your juices flowing. These will be the deal breakers. These should have the attention of the bulk of your ‘goal time’. These are the ones that will give you the greatest satisfaction. The greatest achievement.   These goals will be worth the effort.

When I sorted my “must do list”, I needed to test what goals were really worth achieving. I established for myself a benchmark. Any goal that I wanted to set had to pass this test otherwise it was dispatched to the when I have the time to do list.

This benchmark I call “The four Got To’s”…

It’s got to have meaning

It’s got to be exciting

It’s got to give value

It’s got to feel rewarding

Now you may have noticed I used the word “set”. This post is about “achieving goals”. The thing I have found personally and with my coaching clients is that when you set goals with the above benchmarks you are well on the way to achieving these same goals.

These benchmarks influence your thoughts and actions along the way. They drive you forward.

Let’s look at these a little more closely:

Meaning…I have written about this in more detail previously (click the link). This is all powerful. Meaning will vary from person to person however it’s something that is “deep” for each of us. When it has sufficient ‘meaning’, you will see it thru.

Excitement…well, my previous post covered this. If it’s not exciting then I seriously suggest you find some excitement within the goal or put it aside. Excitement needs to be a big part of your Life.

Value… personally and professionally, for yourself and/or for others. It has to be worth your investment of time and effort.

Rewarding… similar to value however I am not talking money here. I feel that each goal that I achieve helps me grow. It’s like a building block, each one stacked upon the other sends you upward where the view is so much better.The reward is in the effort…and the growth.

How are your Goals looking? Are you spending a lot of your time on “tasks” rather than meaningful goals?

be good to yourselves

David

# I help men & women aged 40 & over, make their goals, dreams & longer term Visions for their Life, come true. I want You to be excited about your Life.

and YES, I coach in Australia & around the world via Skype…Contact me Today for your FREE introductory coaching session.… david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

#  I welcome you to Visit and “like” my Facebook page

• Try a Free Coaching session or high value, low cost Virtual Coaching package…simply click on the appropriate apps on my Facebook page or you can email me …david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

Please join me also at:

•   www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au    AND

• I’d love you to follow me on Twitter

One dose of Excitement…followed by another…and another

I like Excitement. In fact, I am excited about Excitement.

After the previous post when unfortunately Life was sucking a little, it’s time for a rebound!

I see a major challenge for many, including myself at times, is being able to draw excitement even from the most mundane of activities & seemingly boring of moments.

If you truly seek every exciting moment possible then it can be done. I am convinced of that. I wrote a post a little while back where I suggested that you be excited by your Life.

Today we will give our Life some enduring excitement.

Actually, while I think of it…..Your Purpose in Life is to be excited, about your Life. Now that you have found your “calling”, you can get on with it…..and live excitingly.

and this is where it starts. If you have no want to be excited about anything that your life has to offer, then I’m sorry. This story is not for you.

Let us set the scene…What is “excitement”?

It’s likely different things to different people. It may not be jump out of your skin type excitement or a shout it from the roof top type of deal (or may be it is). It could be an inner warmth, a knowing, a tingling sensation.

It may just be satisfaction that all is well. Or a satisfaction in knowing that all will be well, if things are a little off balance for now.

You will probably have your own excitement barometers and that’s fine. Whatever it is, be excited and maintain a vein of excitement throughout everything you do, feel, touch & say. At the end of the day (sorry about the cliche)…….Excitement is an Attitude.

To access this attitude you will need to push aside conflicting attitudes. Like…attitudes of doubt, of procrastination, of fear, of overall negativity.

Excitement is contagious, much like a positive attitude. So passing this excitement along can only be good. It all starts with You. Say “Yes” to excitement.

The recommended dosage of excitement depends upon your need for either an internalised excitement (feeling warm & fuzzy but don’t want anyone else to know) OR externalised excitement (where you are doing hand stands or something similarily outrageous)…..measure accordingly.

Simply take the dosage that is right for you and which maintains your attitude of excitement. The correct dosage, taken daily, will prolong your Life and keep it at the level which you deserve. It will also gladly infect (and affect) those with whom you come in contact.

So who’s with me for having an exciting Life?

be good to yourselves

David

# I help men & women aged 40 & over, make their goals, dreams & longer term Visions for their Life, come true. I want You to be excited about your Life.

and YES, I coach in Australia & around the world via Skype…Contact me Today for your FREE introductory coaching session.… david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

#  I welcome you to Visit and “like” my Facebook page

• Try a Free Coaching session or high value, low cost Virtual Coaching package…simply click on the appropriate apps on my Facebook page or you can email me …david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

Please join me also at:

•   www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au    AND

• I’d love you to follow me on Twitter

What are your Theories on Life? Here’s One …but it’s gone up in a puff of smoke

There are numerous theories  recorded throughout history. We learned about many of them during our schooling.

Then we have our own theories about this and that. Many of these relate to how we navigate our way through Life..….and then there are conspiracy theories…..well, we’ll leave that one alone.

With our own lives, we gather information from varying sources e.g, our parents, our peers, self help books, media, friends and our daily observations. We then tend to “theorise” how things work you know…….. life in general, the Universe, right & wrong, how to become successful & wealthy etc,

A friend of mine, Trevor used to have a great theory. If he worked hard, got noticed by the Boss, worked overtime, didn’t take most of his holidays then he would be promoted.  His employers would look after him. “They like people who put in that extra effort” said Trevor.

He reasoned(theorised) that he would also get numerous pay rises due to his

extra diligence, be able to look after his loving wife and children and retire with a nice sum of money………good theory.

For a few years, things were going quite well for Trevor at work, his “theory” was working…….at home it was becoming different. Family life suffered because of Trevor’s “extra diligence” at work, they rarely saw him,……..theory now looking a little shaky.

A few months later, ‘the deal breaker’, Trevor was retrenched…….theory now shot to pieces – BANG.

Trevor now theorises “that life sucks”.

From Trevor’s perspective, life is looking perilous on two fronts 1. lack of employment therefore lack of promotion therefore lack of pay (rise)…….retiring with a nice sum of money looks unlikely.

2. Trevor needs to patch up his family life

What would you do in Trevor’s situation?…. Continue to lament that “life sucks”? OR create a new “theory”?……a paradigm shift if you will.

You see, Trevor relied largely on his main theory outlined in this post. So when it went ‘Bang’………..he was lost, he had no back up plan… “Life sucked”.

I guess we can over theorise on Life. Keeping it simple & varied has it’s benefits. Balancing work with family, terribly important.

We get a few ‘bumps’ or ‘bangs’ in our Lives that  should cause us to think about our “theories” on Life. Take a look at your Life from a different angle, a fresh perspective. Because it can be “over” in a flash.

What really matters.? It’s an individual thing however it’s worth considering very carefully. You only have one shot at this Life so why not make it a great one.

Can you relate to Trevor’s story? Does life “suck” for you… or have you turned it around?

be good to yourselves

David

# I help men & women aged 40 & over, make their goals, dreams & longer term Visions for their Life, come true. I want You to be excited about your Life. 

and YES, I coach in Australia & around the world via Skype…Contact me Today for your FREE introductory coaching session… david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

#  I welcome you to Visit and “like” my Facebook page

• Try a Free Coaching session or high value, low cost Virtual Coaching package…simply click on the appropriate apps on my Facebook page or you can email me …david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

Please join me also at:

•   www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au    AND

• I’d love you to follow me on Twitter

What “Change” can I initiate Today that will make a Major difference in my Life?

Something is not quite right. You are trying your best however things just aren’t coming together.

What’s going on?

“I’ve been doing this for quite a while. I know what I am doing. Why can’t I get the results that I am after?”

Does this sound familiar to you? It may not be your scenario or it maybe it is… or it’s been happening to someone you know.

Regardless… often we are doing the same things, working hard, trying to get those “better” results.

“We are doing the same things…..” this is largely the problem.

Now, you are a hard working, honest type of person simply wanting the best for yourself, your family and others near & dear to you. I know that. But that’s not quite enough if you aren’t getting the results that you want.

You can keep working hard but if you don’t change something, then continuing on in the same way will hurt you in the long run…and probably the short & medium terms as well.

And that’s the question I am asking of you Today. What change can you make that will enable a big difference to be made in your Life?

Whether that be work related, relationship related, personal. You owe it to yourself to make that change . So what is it?

Here are some ideas to get your thoughts percolating…and you do need to think about this if you are struggling with things in your Life right now. These brief questions may open up a new pathway of thought, leading to the change that can make all the difference to you.

Is it your Attitude?

Are you not listening?…to others…to yourself?

Are your Beliefs out of whack?

You have no goals?

Do you need to hire a Life Coach or Mentor?

You need to spend more time with your family?

You procrastinate often?

Making a choice is difficult?

You feel that you lack freedom to express yourself fully?

There are many more questions that you can ask of yourself. Indeed, there may be a number of changes that will be of benefit to you. If things aren’t working for you, explore another way & ask yourself many questions.

I’d love to know your thoughts, please comment below.

be good to yourselves

David

#  I’d love you to Visit and “like” my Facebook page

• then to simply take advantage of a Free Coaching session or high value, low cost Virtual Coaching package…just click on the appropriate apps on my Facebook page or email me david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

Please visit me also at:

•   www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au    AND

• Follow me on Twitter
• and YES, I coach around the world via Skype…contact me for more details david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au