To set Goals or not to set Goals, this is the Question

Goal Setting (Photo credit: lululemon athletica)

A great question and one in which I admit to bias… me being a Life Coach and proclaiming myself as a “Goal Achievement Specialist”.

However, it is fair to say that Goal setting is not for everyone.

People react differently & have different needs. Some (or many) thrive on having challenges, want to achieve more & goal setting provides the ideal vehicle with which to do this.

There are others, well, who are simply happy to drift along “hoping” for the best… though this “hoping” thing is not recommended as a stand-a-lone strategy.

Then there are some who will “drift”, “flow”, “meander” or similar but with some purpose and direction.

Now on this. Beware, “Drifting” may seem a very relaxed way of life however you can only ‘drift so far from the shore’. Without goals or direction (or purpose) you may be at the mercy of the elements.

Which leads me to another point. ‘Direction’ or as I sometimes call it… ‘intentional meandering’, with a sprinkle of purpose –

Is it possible to have no specific goals… however have a definite direction for your life and still live the life that you aspire to?… let’s have a closer look at this.

You see, some people see setting goals as setting you up for disappointment. I don’t see it that way but some do. I believe setting goals correctly will help you achieve what you want. Incorrect goal setting methods will likely do the opposite and you will be dissappointed.

However I am also of the belief that having ‘direction’ /intentional meandering’ is also of great benefit, for the right people and for the right reasons – if you have your personal compass set to where you want to go and always keep your compass bearing (your purpose & direction) in mind, setting specific goals may only be a distraction to you.

This I suggest will work well for those who show great discipline.

However I believe for most, regular effective Goal Setting will deliver the achievement of meaningful goals and a meaningful life with the added flexibility of establishing as many , or few of them as you desire.

You can then keep a close eye on your progress/journey through life and make the necessary adjustments along the way.

What do you think?…..Are you a Goal Setter or a Purposeful Meanderer?

Be good to yourselves

David

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Related articles

• Goals, Dreams, Longer term Visions…..why they are important (personalpower4me.wordpress.com)
• And for your additional reading pleasure from Positive Provocations…..5 Secrets to having a soul nourishing digital sabbatical                                                                         

Goals, Dreams, Longer term Visions…..why they are important

Recently I wrote a post to my Facebook page…”Goals and dreams are not just ‘something to have’…..they are something to act on…..how about we bring them to Life people!”

And I stand by that 100%…

Having a sense of purpose for our Lives propels us forward. Setting Goals with meaning adds value to us and keeps the juices flowing.

Whether they be short term, mid or long, Goals provide us with a roadmap to follow. You then need to take action and follow the roadmap.

Dreams are the fabric  which we can weave into what ever is our desire. Dreams are tantalising. They urge us to grow out of our present thoughts and explore possibilities that we would not ordinarily think are possible.

I see Dreams as a form of escapism. Sometimes burdened with boring, ”logical” thought and existence, Dreams act as a ‘pressure release valve’ as we escape to other thoughts.

Importantly, dreams/dreaming allow us to create.

Dreaming with intent steps it up a notch & adds real punch to your purpose & crystallises you into action…..and action ultimately, is the key.

Meaningful Goals and Dreams help form your longer term Vision for your Life…..at least that’s the way I see it (when done with the right degree of purpose). You may not notice it at first however they will interconnect…(you can’t have one without the other, in my opinion) and this is where the real action commences…..bringing all this to Life!

Depending on which stage of Life you’re currently at, a longer term Vision may not seem important…yet. Once you arrive @ your forties, looking beyond tomorrow takes on much more significance.

There will probably be pieces to the puzzle not yet in place. (In my previous post, I mentioned brushstrokes on your Big Picture)…I like to vary the metaphors. You will have aspirations, you will have a reason to put your Life into some sort of order “before time gets too quickly away”.

If you have been gradually building your longer term “Vision” through regular goal setting and dreaming, then adding the final touches should come quite easily. Though remember to keep action always at the ready.

If you haven’t been a goal setter or ‘dreamer’, I urge you to try it…..it’s never too late to start. You can only benefit by doing so.

As a Life Coach, I help men & women aged 40 & over bring their Goals/Dreams/Visions to Life. Can I help you?

Be good to yourselves

David

P.S If you need a Solution for anything that is holding you back in Life, ask me via email, for free!…david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

# Find out more about me by visiting my :

• Fabulous “Virtual Coach” page here where ongoing support and life changing assistance is just a keystroke or two away. Why not sign up while you are there?

• Facebook page over there. I would love you to view & “like” , if you like

•  website @ www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

• Linkedin profile

• follow me on Twitter

4 Simple Goal building steps that can be truly Life Changing

I was watching some pidgeons & doves in my backyard this morning scrounging through left over birdseed that I had thrown there. Apart from my usual amusement, it got me thinking ( oh no, not thinking again), about ” searching for crumbs” and scrounging or scraping out an existence, survival if you will.

There are times when we all feel that if we can just survive the day, week , month…..things will turn around. They can, most often with a change in thought process. However one can get stuck in “survival mode” where each day you man up or woman up, at the battlefront.

So, I thought that I would pen down some “survival” type tips that if worked on, will get you off the floor and on the road to “thrival”

Goal Number 1…..Have a Goal that will elevate you above ground. Walking the ground floor or even dwelling in the cellar are not the places to live your Life. It can be a simple goal, in fact the simpler the better. I want you to build some confidence. Just getting a goal established, will give impetus to new thought and new energy and will get you started!

Goal Number 2…..Set a Goal that will build on No 1….a “back to back” goal, a momentum builder. A Goal that will move you up the food chain, little by little if necessary however you must climb. Leave the pain (and comfort) behind. Pain & comfort are strange bed fellows, it’s amazing what hurt people go through to stay comfortable in their own world regardless of how poor a situation it is. So if you attempted Goal No1 and got yourself moving, with a little more effort, Goal No2 can have you elevating yourself even further.

Goal Number 3…..You are now floating above “the crumbs”…..you can see more light, new hope. You are energised and probably in some awe of what you have achieved….. or in shock. You may need a breather and soak in your success, that’s ok, however not for too long, further success awaits. Goal No3 is the goal that will cement your new thought processes. Start to get bold. You have gained some Traction and are stepping forward and building momentum

Whatever goals you selected @ 1&2 go a little bigger. You now have the hang of it, so keep climbing. If you need some support here, contact me & I will help you get there.

Goal Number 4….Develop your sense of direction and Purpose.

What? Where’s Goal No4?…..As a Life Coach, goals are expected to be a large part of what I do. Goals do have a vital part in setting up your Life provided they are established correctly. However I place greater importance on “having a sense of direction and purpose”, so for this post, this is my Goal No 4. This is not to diminish the 3 previous goals. In the situation that I have described for this post, these 3 steps were vital to get you moving from survival up the food chain.

However, be warned, setting and achieving goals may well get you “there” and that’s fine. If later on you find that “there” is not the “there” that you want, then it becomes a bit of a waste. Establish your direction before establishing your goals.

Doing this will then become purposeful, because you know where you are going and it will provide meaning to your Life because you are doing and going to a destination…….rather than “searching for crumbs”.

Does this make some sense? Feel free to comment as always.

Be good to yourselves

David

p.s Feel free to view & “like” my Facebook page over there, if you like

p.p.s I did a video for this & posted on my FB Page if you would to look

# I’d love you to share this post with your Universe

# I also hang out @ www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

# Check out my fabulous Virtual Coach page here where ongoing support and life changing assistance is just a keystroke or two away

Related articles

• Do Goals scare you? (personalpower4me.wordpress.com)

Life Goals…..achieving the big ones, after 40

This is a post for the directionless souls out there or the curious amongst us, who are entering or are already in, their ‘mid lives’…..

Often men & women entering their 40′s start to reflect on what they have achieved in life, where their life has “gone” and/or what they are going to do with the rest of their lives.  “Is there something else?”, ”have I done enough?” is a common call from those who are unsure in which direction to head or are feeling “stale” with their current life situations.

The thought that half your Life has gone is scary. The thought that the next half of your Life is around the corner & you have no plans to live it, is even more scarier!

Stuck in a “place” you don’t want to be, spinning your wheels is no fun. You need to gain some traction then plot your path forward.

You are heading in to or are already in, the next phase of your life. Establishing goals for it may seem daunting, especially if you have had no previous exposure to Goal Setting or have resisted it in the past. No doubt, the rest of your Life will want to be filled with meaning. The greater the meaning, the greater the motivation to achieve it. That “meaning” will take whatever form you choose, so choose carefully.

The effort to determine your “meaning” is worth it!….. This is the time to get it right. Getting started is the hardest part however once you have, ‘the flow’ will commence.

Meaning.……

What do you imagine the rest of your Life looking like? What do you want to achieve…..personally, professionally, family wise? Are their tangible ‘shiny’ things that you want? Is it better health, fitness? Is it spiritual? Philanthropic? Educational? Fun (I hope so)?

There’s also  21 Self Discovery Questions here if you would like to consider further choices.

Whatever your ‘big things’ are, they must have this deep meaning for you, to be achievable…..and make them BIG, I mean HUGE, don’t hold back, deep, deep meaningful big things/joys.

Making the time to think about them is a great start, make the time!…..then make the time to put a plan in place.

Age 40 & beyond is a wonderful place to be. It is the time to make your impact, make your own personal mark on the world. This is not a time for regret but it is a time for action. Not action that will wear you down but action that will rejuvenate your soul, make you stand tall & claim your rightful “place”.

Well…..

What’s really important to you now, the next 5,10,20 years? How will you make your mark, claim your place?…..Time will not wait for you, make the most of your time, now…..what are you waiting for?

Be good to yourselves

David

# In 2013 I will also be at my new site. So please join me for coffee, fresh writings, fresh thoughts and ideas at : www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

p.s  Feel free to view & “like” my Facebook page over there, if you like

Check out my Virtual Coach page here

 

Do Goals scare you?

A recent post by Jonathan Wells really got me thinking…..Hard

I’m a Life Coach yet there ARE times when I have some difficulty getting clear on the process surrounding a particular Goal.

I’ve found that “lack of clarity” is usually the main culprit. 99% of the time, I can amend this when I review the ‘dose of meaning’ that I have attached to my Goal. If the meaning is not strong enough then I need to adjust the goal (or even discard)

There are others who often play a support role in scaring the hell out of me. They are the real ‘bogies’.

* Lack of Focus

# Lack of effective Time Management

* Too many distractions(often subtle)

When I use the term “scared”, I am not implying that I go to water, have a breakdown or anything similar. I am saying that I need to be on my best guard to ensure these ‘bogies” don’t creep in and spoil my game plan.

After all I do follow the Five Effective Steps to Achieving Meaningful Goals which is a blueprint for successful Goal achievement. Suffice to say “stuff” can still happen…..

The two marked * I find, go hand in hand. Subtle distractions sneek up on us. They are often simple things that go a long way into eroding all the good work that we have set up. e.g, ‘phone calls, incoming emails, noise, people

A lot of these are well meaning, well intentioned HOWEVER they interrupt your Focus.

FOCUS or the lack thereof is the dealbreaker. To achieve anything worthwhile one needs to be focussed and have no distractions.

In another of Jonathan’s fine posts, using applied focus in 45 minute bursts will get you on the way to achievement. I believe this to be a very good timeframe to aim at. I’ve used it and it works. It is amazing when you focus without distraction for 45 minutes (or as close as you can, I started @ 30 mins), how much you can achieve.

I am using the same philosophy with two of my current Coaching clients.

# Time Management includes scheduling your ‘focus sessions’. It’s fine to zone in on being focussed however if you don’t schedule then nothing happens.

Time Mangement also includes scheduling your priorities…..the important priorities not just the ‘urgent ones’…..often these urgencies are the ‘subtle distractions’

You see, there is nothing to be scared about.  When you get your priorities right surrounding your Goals…….

* Sufficient Meaning, Focus, Time Management, Avoiding distractions

then you are on your way.

Be good to yourselves

David

p.s Feel free to view & “like” my Facebook page over there, if you like

check out my Virtual Coach page here

I also hang out @ www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au  come & visit soon, there are no “fancies” just solid info on how I can help you

    

21 Self Discovery Questions to enrich your mid life Journey

Around the age of 40, your perspective on Life often changes (or not for some). For some (good) reason our Thoughts turn to the 2nd half of our lives and how we can continue/start to enjoy or improve our lot…..it did for me at least.  I’d like to throw a few questions at you for your consideration, fascination, procrastination, motivation or what other “ation” grabs your fancy.

Can these questions (I’m sure there are more) get your minds percolating with fresh effervescent ideas? or at least, to take a good look at where you’re currently at & where you would like to be?……I hope so.

• How do I really want to live the rest of my Life

• What impact on myself, my significant others do I want to make in the next 10 years

• What’s vitally important to me Now

• What, if any changes do I need to make

• What support will I need if I decide to make changes

• who will be affected(by my changes)

• Are my Belief systems valid, up to date or need renewal

• What are my top 3 personal Values that I want to live my Life by

• How can I improve my health & fitness

• how much of my potential am I prepared to tap in to

• am I happy

• Is my Love strong enough

• what Life Goals do I need to set

• do my skills need upgrading

• what new skills do I wish to learn

• what are my passions

• what am I prepared to do to achieve the Life of my dreams

• what am I prepared to forego to achieve………

• how can I share myself, my passions, my skills with others

• How do I see myself, my self perception

• what is my perception of the World….do I fit in or do I want to

* Well, have these helped or hindered? 

    Let me know your thoughts.……

Be good to yourselves

David

P.S For more Self Discovery Questions…..View the 2012 version of this post right here

# In 2013 I will also be at my new site. So please join me for coffee, fresh writings, fresh thoughts and ideas at :

•  www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au/blog
  

and YES, I coach in Australia & around the world via Skype…Contact me Today for your FREE introductory coaching session.… david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

I would love you to:

• Visit and “like” my Facebook page
  

• Follow me on Twitter

 Related Articles

• How to be happy: Master of My Universe (themomu.wordpress.com)
• 5 Passionate Ideals for Living your Life (personalpower4me.wordpress.com)
• Mid Life Adventure – A Roadmap for the 40+’s (personalpower4me.wordpress.com)
• A Question of Priorities (personalpower4me.wordpress.com)
• 9 Cool things to discover after you turn 40 (personalpower4me.wordpress.com)

Who moved the Goal Posts?

Have you ever been on track with a task or goal and found that just when you thought you were finished, the rules were changed? OR should I say how many times has this happened to you?

Have you been the culprit? You’ve set yourself a Goal & changed the rules for whatever reason…….made it easier, gave up, too hard?

I love to reach goals. The sense of achievement is overwhelming……then something else happens…..I want more! More achievement, more satisfaction. No, that’s not strong enough. I want more exhilaration! However what happens when the Goal Posts are moved?

Firstly, who moved them…….you or some other external influence?

If it is you, then the good news is that you can do something about it. I suggest you sit down & review your intial goal setting & determine whether it was SMART in the first place.

Yes, I know that sometimes there are “detours”...(I often get sidetracked). These are allowable provided that you keep your ‘goal posts’ in sight & don’t wander too far because the overall ‘direction’ stll has to be maintained. You still need to focus to a high degree on the “SMART’s” if you want to achieve meaningful goals.

However, if an ‘external influence/s’ is the cause, deeper introspection is required. Why has this been allowed to happen? What external influences or factors are in play here? Are they other people, lack of support, particular events happening in your life or to those around you?

But more importantly, are they within my control?….If “yes”, reset your path(revisiting the SMART principle would be good) and move forward.

If “no”, reset, learn and move forward anyway. There are more goals to achieve and you need to maintain your momentum. There’s always a lesson to be learned and there are always some things that will be outside your control. Maybe next time you will be more the wiser when faced with an ‘external factor’ trying to move your Goal Posts……and if you are the culprit, then play it SMART.

Be good to yourselves

David

p.s  Feel free to view & “like” my Facebook page over there, if you like

I also hang out @www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

Attribution: Photo copyright Rich Tea http://www.geograph.org.uk/profile/4180

Mid Life Adventure – A Roadmap for the 40+’s

Image by aussiegall via Flickr

Wow! So you have reached the ripe age of 40. Notice that I didn’t say “the ripe old age of 40″? That’s because you are not old. Anyway “old” is a term I find quite useless. It lacks specific definition i.e what is “old”?….ok enough of this, let’s get back on track……..I have survived my forties and made some pretty significant life choices along the way. You too can embark upon and enjoy your own mid life adventure!!

In my previous posts, Beating the Mid Life Blues and Setting Life Goals After 40 I  mentioned, enjoyment of Life and setting Goals as well as many others. While many of the points that I raised are important, these two however  are vital.

Enjoying Life, having fun are the first parts of the Roadmap, the starting point to your journey, your adventure. They are what we are all  here for. If you are not strapped in ready for a fun-filled, enjoyable adventure, you may as well stay parked in the garage.

What do you enjoy the most in Life? What’s fun for you?…..What makes your heart sing? These are questions that I have asked of myself and also of my Life Coaching clients. They go to the essence of who we are and who we need to be to enjoy the next stage of our life, the start of our journey from 40 and beyond.

Now to formulate or create your Roadmap you will need Directions. This can come in the form of establishing goals or from a general sense of knowing where you are heading,  i.e   Where do you want to go(with your Life)?

I have observed that some people thrive with setting goals, others prefer charting a particular direction which allows “detours” along the way. Why not, it’s an adventure after all! “Detours” allow you the option of deviating to check ‘what else is there which may be useful to me’, without the structure of a defined goal/path. Either way will get you moving.

Questions you may wish to ask yourself to establish your Directions  could be…..e.g What do I want to achieve?  What is most important to me? Short term, mid term , long term goals…..What do I want waiting for me at the end of the road?  What am I leaving behind that I may wish to take with me?  What will it take to make it to the end? What if……..?

N.B There may be a lot of “what if’s” however to move forward with your journey, they need to be put to rest. Otherwise they will haunt you and you will not start  - can the “what if’s”.

Short term & mid term goals can be designed to be stop off points for your journey. Rest stops where you can stay a while, reflect on your progress thus far, enjoy your successes & spend time to review your longer term strategy/end goals/destination.

The amount of goals/destinations that you establish for your journey is entirely up to you. However, keeping the fun happening with creative goal setting and imaginative directions  will allow you to enjoy this stage of your life and the journey beyond…….Now, what are you going to do about your life?….how about getting excited!?

Be good to yourselves

David

p.s  Feel free to view & “like” my Facebook page over there, if you like

I also hang out@ www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au…the “go to” Coach for the 40′s & over & provider of the 6 Step Life Revitaliser Program

# To view more photos from aussiegall please visit www.louisedocker.com.au or Louise Docker Photography on Facebook

Make Time for your Life

In our life on this earth, time is finite, therefore limited. We can set our watches/clocks to represent our “real time”. We have calendars to represent “real time”.  Then we use these measurements to plan our life, you know, birthdays, meetings, job interviews, holidays, appointments…da, de,da,de,da…….

Now I said that we use watches, clocks, calendars to plan our lives. Is this truly our life? Sure there is  stuff that needs to be done, however it is not Life. This is not a post about  “Life itself”. The meaning of Life etc, is an individual thing and there are countless writings on this. Rather, I am talking about the time that you actually (should) spend on your Life, you know, meaningful living.

So the question remains…….What time are you really making for your life? (non stuff time) OR is the “stuff” taking over your Life?

I see ‘MyTime’/Life as being made up of a series of prescious moments, namely…..connections with yourself, connection with others, family and connection with your environment. These “prescious now moments” are what I believe, are the true joys and blessings – my Life. This is what we should embrace and this is what we should prioritise as time critical.

How often do people late in their lives state their regrets….”wish I had done this…..”, wish I had made more time for that….” etc,……..Why?….because “stuff” got in the way. As Steven Covey says “prioritise the important things not just the urgent ones.” Make time for your Life.

Be good to yourselves

David….also @ www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

Is Achieving a Goal a form of Healing?

Image via Wikipedia

I can’t think of anything more uplifting than achieving a goal. Well I can but those details are best left out of this post.

Whether it was a short term goal or long term, the achievement gets the juices flowing. You could also say it is a form of healing -  Wow, what’s that you say?

You mean I don’t need to escape to “woo woo” land to be “healed”? That’s right, it may be all in your thoughts, which you can control. Escaping is easy, it weakens you, you’re giving your authority, your personal power to someone else.

Now, I have nothing against the “Healers” in our community. Many do a marvellous job for those who are in definite need of a helping hand.

However, many “normal people” feel the need  to escape to have their “shattered lives” healed. I mean it’s trendy. There’s a new buzzword, procedure or practitioner turning up every week it seems.

Now, here’s a thought……Imagine taking the time to set some meaningful goals, to rebuild your life, contibute to your own “self healing”. This is a form of committment to rather than an escape from your “shattered life”. Responsibility, personal accountability if you like. Maintaining your personal power if you will.

Committment/Choice is very powerful indeed. It’s harder than “escaping” however allowing yourself the choice to help yourself and committing to that choice is a strong foundation for your life and your future.

What do you think?

 

Be good to yourselves

David