Mid Lifer’s Lament…7 questions to turn this around

You are entering your Mid Life years and begin to wonder where your Life has gone. You may have many regrets. More importantly, you are having difficulty seeing a way forward. You have vague dreams of a future that should be better than what you have now.

“How do I start to get my Life in better shape?”

Try these questions and see if they will give you a framework on which to build a Life to be proud of…… Be honest, take the time to absorb each question before moving on to the next.

Am I prepared to do what it takes?…..Well, are you? To move forward, changes will need to be made.

Will doing this now make the difference?…..The short answer is “yes”. One more day of regret is one day too much. There may be too much to lose by procrastinating over any change that you need to make. If you are unsure of the change needed, contact someone who can help you.

Do I Love my Life?…..Remember when life was fun? You may need to fall in love with your Life all over again. Do this and the sparks will begin to fly… new, exciting thoughts and actions will follow.

What will happen if I do nothing?…..more lamenting no doubt. Is this what you really want? Doing nothing means things stay the way that they currently are.

How can I make this better?…..by changing what you are doing currently. If your future seems cloudy, change is essential in order to make it clearer. Again, seek help if you can’t find the answers yourself. It’s often difficult doing this on your own.

What will my children think?…..Indeed. Setting a better example will be rewarding in time. Get passionate about your Life and the rewards will be unimaginable.

Can I still be successful?…..Absolutely you can. You are entering a golden period of Life. Many successful people didn’t get started until their forties…you can too.

Are these questions helpful? What other questions do you feel would assist?

Feel free to share your thoughts.

Be good to yourselves

David

Life Coach. Listener. Life Lover.

# In 2013 I will also be at my new site. So please join me for coffee, fresh writings, fresh thoughts and ideas at : www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au/blog

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Anger and Frustration – part of our natural state? One “Big” way to use it to your advantage

I’ve had some frustrating times recently. And some anger has bubbled up to the surface.

I am not usually in this state or at least have not been for some considerable time.

So not only was I frustrated, at the same time I was rather confused.

What do I do with this anger/frustration? I have pondered this for a couple of days now.

I know the ‘triggers’ for this however they are not normally things that would get to me. Perhaps I am expecting too much of others or of myself? This is something that I will have to work out for myself.

I have come to the conclusion that being angry and/or frustrated is natural. No big surprise there. However trying to suppress this or divert this can lead to increased anger/frustration.

Letting it ‘run it’s course’, letting things cool is I believe, a better way to go. I think venting some steam has its benefits. Clears out the system. Pent up anger or frustration may have catastrophic results, so best to let a bit out to avoid any disasters.

Being frustrated at something/someone is not bad either. If you have values or yardsticks that you want to uphold and you find that someone is coming up short…be frustrated…at least for a little while.

And here is a key. “A little while”. I have just said that being angry and/or frustrated is OK, in fact somewhat “healthy”, however there is a limit.

How have I turned this around?

Any ongoing anger/frustration will become unhealthy in my view. Let off some steam, privately. Source the anger… and then source a healthy alternative to this anger/frustration.

In my case, I replaced my frustration with a ‘bigger picture’. Previously, I was isolating & focusing on the small distractions and therefore making them big distractions.

This lead to increased frustration & flowed onto anger. Reframing this into the bigger scheme of things…..that is, what really matters to me on a larger scale …..watered down the frustration. I saw it for what it was…a minor irritation NOT a major drama.

The bigger picture of my Life has enjoyment, dreams and Big goals beckoning me to achieve. Playing this game of Life won’t be halted by a “scratch on the kneecap”. You put up with the minor irritations. In fact, you hardly notice them at all when your end game is so compelling.

How do you overcome your angry or frustrating times? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Be good to yourselves

David

P.S New website and blog coming soon!

# I help men & women aged 40 & over, make their goals, dreams & longer term Visions for their Life, come true. I want You to be excited about your Life.

and YES, I coach in Australia & around the world via Skype…Contact me Today for your FREE introductory coaching session.… david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

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Related articles

• Why clearing your clutter will save your Life (personalpower4me.wordpress.com)
• Photo credit http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/galleries/gallery-e6frg8zf-1226517485388?page=3

Why clearing your clutter will save your Life

What types of things do you tolerate in your life?

Are they excuses, disappointments, frustrations, put downs, same old same old, anger, doubt, negative people, lack of…..?

It doesn’t have to be this way!

We all experience these at various points in our Life. However there is no reason to tolerate them and accept them as ‘normal’. Do so and they will become an immovable part of your Life, just like a long term squatter…..and that is bad.

When you let this type of clutter invade and be a large part of your Life, then your Life no longer becomes yours.

You become a victim of external circumstances which will take control over your Life.

Are these ‘missing’ in your day to day living?…Fun, surprise, joy, success, spontaneity, achievement, excitement, money, love, friendship, positivity, imagination, goals.

Clear the clutter of disappointment, excuses, frustration, negativity and the like… it’s time for a fresh start! And introduce the ‘missing’ activities to your daily living.

You only have one life to live and from today you are your No.1 priority. Because if you are not “in tune”, then the people nearest and dearest to you can not prosper either.

Your health and wellbeing are paramount.

When you are ‘cluttered’, you are in effect…damaged goods.

By ‘clearing the clutter’ I am talking about mental and physical – get rid of the physical things around you that no longer serve any worthwhile purpose. Clear your desk, your home, garage, yard. Set a clean slate and start afresh.

Take time to clear your mind of unwanted/ negative thoughts that are holding you back/ stopping you from being the person the great creator intended. Let go of the toxic people in your Life. Short term ‘friends’ can become life long enemies to your personal wellbeing.

I suggest that you let go of what you have been unnecessarily putting up & keeping in your Life. Aim for a fresh start now – renew, revitalise, re-ignite….. and you can then start living the life you deserve instead of having your Life suffocated by others and “stuff” that serves no value to you.

Be good to yourselves

David

# In 2013 I will also be at my new site. So please join me for coffee, fresh writings, fresh thoughts and ideas at : www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

#  I welcome you to Visit and “like” my Facebook page for terrific insights into Life issues that affect You

• Try a Free Coaching session or high value, low cost Virtual Coaching package…simply click on the appropriate apps on my Facebook page or you can email me …david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

• I’d love you to follow me on Twitter

Are you drowning in a world of detail?

English: Meant to show how the objects of the world can sometimes almost suffocate you (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Give me a “hell yeah” if the heading resonates with you.

Detail slows us down. It stifles creativity. It cramps our freedom of expression.

Yet “detail” is so prevalent  in many parts of our Life.

It’s like having rules with extra fine print attached.

I’m not much of a ‘rule follower’. I like to exercise my freedom to create, without unnecessary restriction.

So, how do we express ourselves, live free and create, with so much detail hanging around us?

TRUST…..in your Big Picture

If you don’t have a bigger picture of how your Life should pan out for you then you will likely be chasing around, hanging on to every ‘detail’ that comes your way. Trying to dot the “i’s” and cross the “t’s”. That’s fine if you work in a Law firm.

If you do have a ‘Big Picture’, you have something to rely on. Have faith that it will turn out. Keep showing up. Keep the dream in focus. The greater the focus, the greater the pull. Your Big Picture is like a magnet. It draws you ever closer…and it draws all of the necessary detail with it. Without you having to worry about it.

Avoid the messy detail, keep your Big Picture alive.

Are you caught up in every ‘detail’ imaginable or is your Big Picture in focus? Let me know below.

be good to yourselves

David

#  I’d love you to Visit and “like” my Facebook page

• You can then take advantage of a Free Coaching session or high value, low cost Virtual Coaching package…just click on the appropriate apps on the page

Please visit me also at:

•   www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au    AND

• Follow me on Twitter
• and YES, I coach around the world via Skype…contact me for more details david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

Does your Life need Renewing? Trade in your Old Life Today with these 3 quick Tips

Are you running around like a “headless chook”?

Your mind is racing, you are darting in different directions, seemingly all at the same time – Life is a blur……

OR are you sitting in the corner with a puzzled look on your face?… not knowing what to do or where to turn.

No direction, no motivation, no goals…..no answers

Gratitude Journal (Photo credit: limevelyn)

Whether you are darting in different directions or have no direction at all, you need to get your head in to a better space.

Pause & Reflect… One do-able action that can get you started is to spend just 5 minutes alone. Alone with your thoughts. Think about where you are currently at with your Life and where you want to be in the future. Be that tomorrow, next week, next month, next year or years down the track.

Start with just 5 minutes. Concentrate on now. Then gradually step it up to 10 or 15 minutes…no need for any more.

 You will need however, to build upon this in due time.  Look within & start to look ahead once you have the “now” sorted. Seek Motivation, seek inspiration. Do you want a better deal out of life? …….just start thinking differently.

Gratitude, is my main motivator when I feel stale, uninspired and stuck in a RUT.

Gratitude for the things that I have, the people that I love and for the great things that have occurred in my Life. Thinking thoughts of gratitude can only produce positive actions for you, it does for me. The good news is…….it’s easy to do! ….just make the time to be grateful.Start a journal or revisit the one that you had (and have left neglected)

Amazing things start to happen when different thoughts & gratitude are allowed in. Better thoughts begin to manifest. ‘Breakthrough moments’ occur. Perceptions change, even “the busyness” seems calmer. Positive results occur. You have better control of your actions, you have the time to do things effectively.

Photo credit Andrew Tallon
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/gallery-e6frg6n6-1226433735647?page=9

Get Excited and take Action… there’s plenty to be excited about. Simply open your eyes, ears and most importantly…your Heart.

I always find a trigger point to get me into excitement mode. It could be anything however it always starts with a thought & I see the key to excitement is “thinking excitement”, with the emphasis on the “thinking” part. It’s easy to do once you get the hang of it.

When you are in ‘thinking mode’, nice & relaxed you will be amazed at what ‘comes to you’. Write down the best thoughts and then make a note to action them. It is of little use to have the power of thought without follow up action.

Taking that action will make all the difference between your “old life” and your “new Life”.

So, are these tips worthwhile for you? Are you caught in one of Life’s ruts? I’d love you to share your comments below.

Be good to yourselves

David

#  I’d love you to Visit and “like” my Facebook page

• You can then take advantage of a Free Coaching session or high value, low cost Virtual Coaching package…just click on the appropriate apps on the page

Please visit me also at:

•   www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au    AND

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Is it problematic or simply questionable?

How often do you question your actions, beliefs, your Life?

• Do you have a need to?
• Have you thought that there may be an alternative to what you are doing in your Life right now?

Which begs the question…”Do I carry on as per usual OR do I look for answers that can  lead me toward a more fulfilling Life?”

• This is assuming that your “usual” may not be fulfilling. By all means, if you have your Life in the order that is giving you excitement and content, please carry on.

Now if things aren’t the way that you would like, asking some questions may well be “the answer” that you have been looking for.

Which ones are best?…for example

• What questions will allow you to grow?
• Which questions will start unlocking the answers for you?
• Do your questions pose more problems than answers?

The last “poser” is an interesting kettle of fish. What if (there’s those two words again) when we start to ask ourselves questions, we dig ourselves a hole and create more problems than what we had to start with?…(sorry about the long sentence)

I suggest you not worry about that. Simply asking a straight up question won’t necessarily give you a straight up answer. There’s often a detour here and there before the answer reveals itself. The trick is to keep investigating, keep opening up the possibilities thru the art of questioning until…..you arrive at the answer that you are looking for.

It’s a great start to just take the time to look at where you currently stand with your Life. You can either accept your current position and do no more or you can look at ways of improving your current position (if you are not happy), as simple as that.

“How can I…”   “What do I…”  ”How will I…”  will preface searching questions

and of course “What if I…”

You just have to start, the questions will flow soon after and answers will begin to emerge. (If you have any problems with this I will be delighted to help)

Understanding the value of great questions enhances the experience.

Questions that will give true meaning to your Life, that is.

These types of questions will add value to you. You will have ‘problems’ along the way however remember that without problems, questions would not be necessary…it’s part of the equation. Some answers will come immediately, a breakthrough hallelujah … others will take a little time.

What questions have you been asking of yourself lately?….OR

Do you have questions that you should be asking?

Please share in the comments below.

Some suggested posts for your reading pleasure from blogging friends of mine:

Victor Schueller

Betsy McKee Henry

Be good to yourselves

David

# I would truly appreciate you visiting my :

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Living Life Today – Are You Moving or Standing Still?

“Just the thought of being with you tomorrow is enough to get me through today.” (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

“The Living Life Today series provides a platform to think about your Life as it is Now, enjoy what you have, review and create an even better future for tomorrow”….. Short, sharp & easily digestible.

Feeling a bit sluggish, a bit flat? Thoughts in dissaray?

This happens to all of us at various times.

However care is to be had here as this temporary phase can become a permanent lockdown.

How do we do avoid this happening to you on a regular basis?

With a clear view of where you are going/what you want to do…this will make all the difference.

Clarity is the key here. Yes for sure the waters get muddied from time to time. However being able to draw upon your ‘own clear message’ will get you back on track…and moving.

Having a sense of direction and an end goal is ‘message’ enough to keep you moving.

When you are not clear then you will come to a standstill.

The longer you remain unclear, the longer you stand still.

With each clear thought a step in the right direction follows and tomorrow will welcome you with open arms…..keep stepping.

If you are unsure of your current thoughts and direction, contact me via email or the social media avenues below and I’ll help you get moving.

Be good to yourselves

David

# I would love you to visit my :

• Facebook page over there. Please “like” & follow. This will allow you to message me anytime, with any “Life issues” that you would like some help with

• Fabulous “Virtual Coach” page here where ongoing support and life changing assistance is just a keystroke or two away. Why not sign up while you are there?

•  website @ www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

• Linkedin profile

• follow me on Twitter

# Bonus posts for your reading pleasure from a selection of fabulous bloggers

Betsy Henry @ Zen Mama…..Become a Possibilitarian

Jodi Chapman @ Soul Speak…..Shared Wisdom- Creating Time

 

 

Living Life Today – Excuse me, there’s a fly in my soup

“The Living Life Today series provides a platform to think about your Life as it is Now, enjoy what you have, review and create an even better future for tomorrow”….. Short, sharp & easily digestible.

You know, sometimes our days, even our weeks, don’t go to plan. We had all the right intentions however something(s) got in the way……sound familiar?

What causes us to get off track, distracted, confused, out of focus?

Many things.

It will happen. However should you resist the interruptions, ignore this ‘new situation’ and just keep going?

OR should you deal with the ‘fly’, get it out of the way, then move on?…..tricky?

Life Lovers, I’ve had many a good bowl of soup ruined by a pesky fly dropping in unnanounced. I am learning to deal with the distraction (not always effectively, I’ll admit…I’m still learning) and then move back into the flow of Life.

And that’s what it’s about. Your day can at times get interrupted, maybe even your week. Whatever you decide to do, ignore the ‘fly’ or deal with it, the key is to get back into flow as soon as practical…..don’t be distracted forever…..otherwise, excuses will build up & become ‘fact’.

Waiter!…..another bowl of soup please, this one has a fly in it…..thankyou.

Be good to yourselves

David

P.S If you need a Solution for anything that is holding you back in Life, ask me via email, for free!…david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

# Find out more about me by visiting my :

• Fabulous “Virtual Coach” page here where ongoing support and life changing assistance is just a keystroke or two away. Why not sign up while you are there?

• Facebook page over there. I would love you to “like” , if you like

•  website @ www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

• Linkedin profile

Just saying it as it is…..Part 1

I am a poor “Rule” follower. I don’t like being;

categorised,

placed in a box,

told I need to follow this, follow that,

told how I should think etc,

Sure, there are wider society ‘rules’ that one should abide by…..I’m not talking about social anarchy here.

Even though I am fond of Imagining(you might like to check out my Imagination series from last year) and am getting pretty good at it, I still get the feeling that there is (an expectation) that my thoughts, my actions should follow a defined path…not necessarily narrow however only as wide as what is expected by broader society convention.

Today, I am breaking free of my (perhaps self imposed?) restrictions via “convention” and commencing my own set of “rules”…..

If I imagine it, then I will do it

If it serves my purpose, then I will do it

If it enriches me, then I will do it

…….regardless of what others may think or convention may dictate. I am answerable only to myself (with due respect to our higher Authority).

How about you? Do you feel trapped by conventional thinking, categorising, others’ expectations?

Be good to yourselves

David

P.S If you need a Solution for anything that is holding you back, ask me via email, for free!…david@davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

# Find out more about me by visiting my :

• Fabulous “Virtual Coach” page here where ongoing support and life changing assistance is just a keystroke or two away. Why not sign up while you are there?

• Facebook page over there. I would love you to “like” , if you like

•  website @ www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

• Linkedin profile

To Love what you do…..Become your own Guru

Are you happy with Life?

Do you love getting out of bed each day, eager to embrace what lies before you?

OR …Are things just not happening for you?

Then consider this…..become your very own Guru

Go to yourself for the answers to your problems…….a bit radical?…….not at all, please read on

Think about it. We have most of our answers, we really do. In most cases we “know” what to do…….however, we end up running in circles, procrastinating or just plain giving up……..because, we don’t know what to do with what we “know”, by application or …..we don’t know how to unlock our knowing(we get stuck)…..

a lot of this is to do with our mindset…..

Seek out the Guru inside of you. Push aside any laziness,any procrastination and see yourself in a new light, a new framework, a new mindset…….stand tall, become your own Guru.

When you are feeling down……..summon your Guru

When you are feeling unloved…..summon your Guru

When you are feeling lost…….summon your Guru

Now this is not intended as some sort of spiritual pilgrimage to a mountain top. My intent here is for you to alter your mindset to one of accepting that you are you and that you do have so much inner strength & knowledge to tap into. Then allow this “source of knowing” to come out.

Ask(via meditation, prayer, silence, reflection or whatever suits you best) that the answers come to you…..easily. Allowing yourself to be in an accepting state will help unlock much of your hidden answers.

Don’t be afraid to ask…..if the answers or direction to find the answers don’t come, please do not worry…….it may take a little while, be patient with yourself. If you really get stuck, then there’s always a helping hand available, try here

When we get lost for answers we often look to the ‘outside’ for guidance. Self help books, tapes, seminars, social media etc,

Adopting a Guru mindset can set you on a path to locating the answers that are right for you. The answers that you are seeking may come from within or you will be directed to the correct “source”. Start loving your Life more, give it a try…….what do you think?…..let us all know in the comments below.

Be good to yourselves

David

# Find out more about me by visiting my :

• Fabulous “Virtual Coach” page here where ongoing support and life changing assistance is just a keystroke or two away

• Facebook page over there & “like” , if you like

•  website @ www.davidstevenslifecoach.com.au

•  Linkedin profile